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(I genuinely apologize for the blasphemy)

I remembered the inital staging of the Book of Job: losing property and health and still praising God, but I had forgotten how much of it is the argument between the three friends and one outsider. The clear struggle and wrestling with why God would forsake him after his initial acceptance. When the whirlwind comes it feels like a different speaker than the God who was challenged to test Job. The whirlwind speaks of Job's feeble weakness in comparison and that its incomprehensibility means Job should accept his helpless ignorance. And though the whirlwind says it is of such a magnitude it nonetheless cares so much to lower itself to speak to Job and make sure he knows how great it is, rather than ignore him and let him sink into Sheol.

The first two minutes of this clip are widely circulated, but the ending, the transformative ending, is often not included. Though Herzog acknowledges the unnecessary terror of the sea of screams, he nonetheless does not hate it, but loves it, despite his better judgment. I feel all this both to nature and to god but I cannot bring myself to love. I am still an obstinate child of whom the awe does not reach, just the feeling of helpless weakness, and so the fear of god is merely fear. How can you forgive that?

This sense of a higher power, the fascination and awe. I get a little bit of it but it usually inspires an extreme unease for me rather than the love others feel for, mountains, giant ships, skyscrapers, and so on. Sidenote: religious, grand buildings that people used to make pilgramages to. The average shopping mall has the same enourmous proportions if not bigger but is so banal or despised despite its size.