It's strange, (just noticing how many paragraphs I've started with 'it's strange') how a moderatly warm day (not too hot or humid) can be such a unique relaxing sensation with the sun on your skin and so inviting for a nap. However, even just being a little too warm in bed is unbearable and it is much more comfortable while sleeping indoors for it to be cold and pile on blankets. Why does it work like that?

Schopenhauer starts his mammoth text The World as Will and Representation by saying the whole book is meant to express and communicate a single thought. When I began reading it I thought that was such a wild idea, why not come out and say it? Why take up hundreds of pages? But it took months of reading and reflection to fully grasp that thought within myself. Without those months I would not have been able to understand what that single thought meant but now the full depth of those hundreds of pages can be captured in that single thought: the world as will and representation. (though it may have been easier and quicker if I just went straight to the Upanishads)

Learn with your nose. As scents come to you, follow them. Don't try to learn in a regimented and forced way. ||| There are dark knowledges even for a child. Learning a firefly lights up for love can spark joy, but learning that some light to lure others so that they can eat them can spark fear.

the default 'true you' of intuition to fall back on is not true it is just the habit that has fallen into from the buildup of /karma/ if acting a different way feels better than it can become a habit and the norm.

When the atmosphere isn't peaceful and ataraxia won't come, put a bookmark in Epicurus and remember those Buddhist monks. Allow yourself to just, 'feel the feeling' whether for physical pain or strong emotion. It won't work for something long or chronic but it can be helpful to something transitory (pro buddhist download: the all things are Anicca dlc).

From where do desires come from: You are not your thoughts but also are, you are not your feelings but also are. The mingling and arising from the complexity of things is 'you' not any individual thing. You are always changing and incredibly complex. You focus to small aspects but there are tons of things going on that you can't see (identifying with object yes, Brahman may be single true nature, but this is human experience). There are headwaters of desires you can't see. Listening to certain parts of the body at different times and at different amounts. ||| 'I' don't 'believe' in an unchanging, eternal, true, one self. 'I' 'believe' in an ever-changing beehive, the intermingling mass with no boundaries that your consciousness only focuses on certain parts of at a time. (Or maybe I do and its both sometiems)

Bleed on your item, full moon, create the memory, eldritch pathway, forever connected with the pain and moonlight

linked by title.

We dream don't we? Where is the line between turning away and the butterfly dream? Unreality as a mirror. Creating a little world / Entering someone's world:

Can have Tension and Release with just the sweetness and without the bitterness? Like the SOTE trailer: joy in anticipation and in the thing itself (and afterward)... Or even just music, the tension is also sweet. Is there tension and release in a painting? The full picture is present to you at all times.

Going into the light at the end appears scary. Somehow being comforted by the dark doesn't. The light can be overwhelming, the dark can be cool shade.

Oh so much joy, an artistic work that gives inspiration. That gives joy of anticipation, joy of the thing itself the fullness of a good story, and the joy of afterglow with the things it gives you - the best of all to bring it with you. A thing that makes you want to keep unraveling it! A thing that wants you to make your own creations!

We hate repetition and doing the same thing over and over again. We hate going way out of our comfort zone to totally strange things that are overwhelming. We like something we are familiar with that has a bit of a twist. We are always moving just a little bit into new territory, not too quick, not too slow. balance, balance, balance